Kim… Property?

Ch. 5

By Futuramakid

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own KP, or anything else, for that matter.

“OK, so we know Jafar is a cartoon. Now, how do we PROVE it?” Someguy said.

“What’s more important to me is how we keep him from returning to the court,” Ron said.

“He’s right,” Ashley said, “Kim signed a legally binding contract, and if he gets back to the courthouse, we have no chance of getting her back. “

“Ok,” Ronnie said, “I think I know just how to stop him, but we’ll need a distraction. Any volunteers?”

“I’ll go,” Ron said, “that seems to be what I do best.”

“While you distract him, we’ll block the path to the courthouse with paint thinner,” Ronnie said.

“Paint thinner?” Someguy said, “just because it worked for Eddie Valiant doesn’t mean it still holds in the real world!”

“True,” Ronnie said, “but, seeing as the pencils seemed to hold to real-world lead properties, I’d assume the ink and paint does too.”

“That would make sense,” Ashley said.

“Ok, guys, let’s ROCK this joint!” Ronnie said.

Ronnie led the others into a Home Depot to get paint thinners while Ron rushed off to impede Jafar’s progress.

“Hey, Jafar!” Ron said, running up beside him, “I’ve decided life’s not worth living without Kim. Could you write me out one of those contract doohickeys?”

“Why do I need a buffoon when I already have the major player?” Jafar said. He pushed Ron out of the way.

Ron popped his neck side to side, and rushed up again.

“You know, I’m getting major stress vibes from you, you ever try Yoga? It’ll do wonders,” Ron said.

“Why are you following me?” Jafar asked.

“Oh, no reason,” Ron said, “but seriously, you are TENSE! You need to slow down every once in a while.”

He winked at Kim, who was walking by Jafar, because he knew they were approaching the spot the fans had laid the paint thinner. Kim took the cue and slowed down. Jafar, however, kept walking. He walked straight into the pile of paint thinner.

“What!?!?” he said, as he watched his lower body disappear.

“Don’t,” Ronnie said.

“Mess,” Ashley continued.

“With,” Someguy added.

“us,” Ron concluded.

“And now that the contract’s writer is dead, it is null and void,” Ron said.

“Oh, Ron!” Kim said, “you came to save me!”

She ran up to Ron and gave him a huge kiss.

“Now,” Ron said, “let me get you across this stuff. I’m wearing real-world rubber boots, the stuff won’t soak through those.” He picked her up in his arms and smiled sweetly at her.

“And how exactly were you planning to explain the disappearance of the lawyer, Hero-boy?” Kim asked.

“That,” Ronnie said, “is a good question.”

“Hadn’t thought of that,” Ron admitted.

“Well, how about we say he had urgent business?” Ashley suggested.

“More urgent than this?” Someguy said, “nah, let’s just say he disappeared. Let’s leave it at that.”

Meanwhile, at the court…

A man ran into the courtroom.

“I have orders to halt this case,” he began, “until its Supreme Court date.”

“Supreme Court?” McSpadden said, “how did it get there so quickly?”

“1000 different submitters for the case kinda helped,” the man said, “the hearing is next week.”

“Case dismissed,” McSpadden said.

Outside, Kim, Ron, and the rest were approaching the fans.

“KIM!” someone cried out.

Murmurs of relief spread through the crowd.

“Kim,” someone said, “you are going to Supreme Court!”

“What?” Kim and Someguy said at the same time.

“They received over 1000 petitions for writ of certiorari,” another fan said, “apparently that was enough for them. Your hearing’s in a week.”

The group sighed with relief. They knew without Jafar’s meddling as a lawyer, they could nail this case.

Later that day, a video was posted on YouTube, from a webcam. “Thank you,” Kim said on it, “all of you, for your support. Next week I’m going to Supreme Court, where we’ll argue my status, and I’d love for as many people as possible to be there. Thanks. What you did to get me there was SO the drama. And I won’t forget that soon.”

“So, Kim,” Ronnie said, “it’s a long way driving between Houston and DC. What do you wanna do in between?”

“Oh, see the sights, I guess. Whatever there is to do,” she said.